The Lake

Sweat started pouring from my forehead, and my fists clenched the leather seats beneath me as a sense of support. It began to blur, not just the sight in front of me but as if everything, even my thoughts, started to mix as a cloud of distant haze. I tried to open my eyes but couldn't as if a distant figure was saying “Don't look.” and as it commanded I didn't, I couldn’t. Eventually, it had let its grasp go. I opened my eyes and saw we were in the middle of the lake.

“Good morning sleepy head,” my mother said joyfully, with her brunette hair made up into a bun. And her aquatic blue eyes staring at me, “Are you ready?”

“Ready for what?” I replied in a daze of confusion and tiredness.

“For tubing,” my mother responded. I was silent.

“Sure,” I replied with an intense mix of emotions inside me not knowing which to feel, I was scared. I was always a nervous child as if I had been born from the embodiment of fear itself, I didn't like lakes, really I didn't like being anywhere that had me afloat.

“Well get ready, we are leaving any minute,” my mother replied while shuffling away towards her separate room in the motel that was conjoined towards me and my brothers.

*Knock *knock

“ Come on y'all lazy bit****, let's go,” that was Jeb, my aunt, it was clear because her voice was distinctly low, me and my mother used to joke and call her uncle Jeb.

“Yeah we are coming,” My mother replied, shuffling us along with her arms swiftly grabbing her purse.

“Took you long enough,” Jeb jokingly stated to my mother.

“Don't be so hasty,” my mother said back with a smile forming on her face.

“Are you excited boys?” Jeb asked.

“Yeah,” I said in an impartial tone. We then headed forth towards the parking lot feeling the hard rocky texture of the gravel beneath us each step weighing us down, as we were entering the car a voice behind me asked.

“Can I ride with y’all?” It was Jacee, my cousin.

“Sure,” my mother replied, entering the driver's seat and turning on the car. I turned and chuckled as I moved inwards to the passenger seat, the seat usually taken by her. She chuckled too and took her seat in the back. The ride was mostly quiet with quick chat every few minutes, but that ride soon dropped dead silent when we reached a dam. Both I and my mother glanced looks, we both were afraid of heights and to make it better there was little to no protection on our side, just a long, long, drop. Those few seconds felt like hours, as I held onto the roughly implemented texture wrapping on the dashboard, bracing for anything.

We eventually arrived at Lake McConaughy, were upon parking, and feeling the sharp yet mushy sand beneath our feet we were greeted by the warm glance of Jeb and my uncle, Cameron, who had arrived before us. We made our way towards the boat that Jeb had rented out for this trip. We were soon guided with life jackets to the boat. The ride was rocky as we left the sandy shore.

“Y’all ready for this?!” Cameron exclaimed excitedly. I remained silent as the rest had more of a positive reaction. As we got further and further from the shore I felt my stomach sink an emptiness pit forming from within. I started clenching on towards the leather seats feeling its form taking a different shape as my fist clenched more. I closed my eyes trying to cancel the noise of the rift between the boat and the water from beneath. Soon we had come to a stop, thinking we had made it near the shore. I opened my eyes just to be greeted by the sight of being in the heart of the shallow dark lake.

“Who wants to go tubing?” Jeb questioned. My heart was already racing, but within that statement, It felt as if it was pacing even faster as if it had thought that I would volunteer.

“Want to go?’ Cameron asked.

“No thanks,” I replied over and over again, turn after turn, one by one it was almost as if the question took residence alongside us. Eventually, the panicking mumbling inside my brain plus the repetitive asking, I slipped.

“Sure,” My voice quivered. After realizing what I had just said trying to take back each word from the thin air, it was too late.

“Okay, you will be after Patrick and Lincoln.” Those were my cousins. Without knowing what to respond with, I accepted my fate, I accepted the fact I would slip, and I accepted the fact I would have to overcome this overwhelming box of fear overflowing within me, and as they took their turn together time felt amiss I just tried to hang on with any second of safety I could get.

“Your turn,” Cameron shouted, as he helped my cousins get off the tube with the sound of their soaked feet touching the cold metal of this boat, I walked. A step at a time as I reached further nearer the tube, my body shook, and my throat gasped. With my body shaking as Jacee helped me down I latched onto the plastic handle.

“Okay ready? Cameron questioned.

“Yes,” I said, trying to keep calm.

*Purr

The motor began to turn, I closed my eyes, looking for an escape from within, but when I opened them I felt something new, something different. My cheeks which had felt enclasped by the grips of terror, started to form a smile or something mimicking it. What was this? It was thrilling I began to elope myself with this new feeling of profound joy almost as if the fear I had evaporated. After it had stopped I had felt the cold metal surface. My mother looked at me and asked, “How was it?’

“It was fun”