Baby Steps

Pale skin and translucent eyelids

From under which the pain leaks through.

An ever flowing nightmare

The meds just cannot soothe.

Spinning, spinning. The wheels turn,

A flow of unbearable torrent;

A waterfall of utmost destruction

Leaves the body feeling spent.

Comes home and lays down,

Numb to time, and needs time to feel numb.

The pretend death silences the voices,

Hours later rises, but the thoughts still in the back, hum.

They cackle at my weakness.

They feed on my delusion.

I’m screaming so loud, but no one hears;

Time and space feel like an illusion.

But one foot in front of the other,

Walking, walking, walking forevermore.

Will I ever reach the end? Will the trauma leave?

No, never. But the mind will be stronger, and the heart too, at its core.

So the trek must continue,

Even though my knees crack and groan.

My back aches from the load, my mouth parched,

I must walk on, to make sure I live until I’m bone.